3 something in the morning really is not a good time to contemplate my personal worth. I thought i was on a leveled plane. Everything was laid out and each one of us is even handed. And i just realize, how light and ignorant i am. What fool i have been, truly. All his writings showed traces in his conversation, what a fool I am to ignore them, giving light laughs and silence; short of satisfaction, even i can tell. Everything i thought as meaningful and progressive was probably leading me to a more slippery hill. I feel unsure, uncertain, insecure. Being an active pursuer since a long time, i am understanding and deciphering more and more codes of the other side; now i am one of them. The page is black tiled. The words solemn, but eloquent. They struck me at first, sharply reflecting my awkwardness in a one-man band. Then the emotions, rantings, frank confessions and discussions engulfed me. It pains me, to watch, to recognize, to realize my lateness in arrival. The scene is crowed, the plate is already too full. Where am I, where am I amidst the chaos, when I am so uncertain and of a mess myself. Insomnia. chivalry. Whatever. I am trying to figure out a puzzle that is hidden so far and deep from me. Time is running out. I feel like Alice following the rabbit in the damn hole, wandering in confusion as the watch clock ticks away. Feist's songs all make sense now, perfect sense, like truth ringing in the night.
I think i still have hope within my conscious. I know when i see him everything will go into the uncontrollable zone, spinning off in its own course. I will have this knowledge, from tonight and on, deep behind my mind, making me question and hurting me whenever i think about it. How i resent this uncertainty yet i tie my last hope and maybe happiness on to this thread. I need some help from him. I ended up on this path, will you come out and guide me, to walk on it or migrate to another. Right now i only wish i can freeze the unrest, unsettling vibe. Although you do not believe, yet, may the universal Almighty help us both.
2007年11月28日星期三
2007年11月27日星期二
Tribute to all my Berries
"Easy To Luv You" by Stacie Orrico
(re-edited lyrics)
Feelin good
I'm so bad at this, I really am
Feel love when i look into your eyes
I get butterflies
Almost everytime
(there will always be those butterflies)
I wish you could be here all the time
Ohh, cause baby you belong at my side
[CHORUS:]
what more can I say
I'm always thinkin of you
You make it so easy to love you
It's never too hard to
Revolve my world around you
Every moment we spend
I don‘t want it to end
Let it start over again
again and again
Say, love
With you I feel at ease
Things that seemed important don't seem that important
Boy you know i hate when you leave
Oh won't you please just stay here with me
he made me laugh a lot, and
So i thought ...
(re-edited lyrics)
Feelin good
I'm so bad at this, I really am
Feel love when i look into your eyes
I get butterflies
Almost everytime
(there will always be those butterflies)
I wish you could be here all the time
Ohh, cause baby you belong at my side
[CHORUS:]
what more can I say
I'm always thinkin of you
You make it so easy to love you
It's never too hard to
Revolve my world around you
Every moment we spend
I don‘t want it to end
Let it start over again
again and again
Say, love
With you I feel at ease
Things that seemed important don't seem that important
Boy you know i hate when you leave
Oh won't you please just stay here with me
he made me laugh a lot, and
So i thought ...
2007年11月24日星期六
2007年11月22日星期四
2007年11月20日星期二
2007年11月19日星期一
Fiction 我的童话
『
你向我点点头，我对你招招手。一场戏就这么开始了。
滑下肩头的长发。浅笑浮上嘴角。
低垂的眼帘不是你想象的娇羞。
我与你，演着对角戏。
他从我身边走过，让我错乱了手脚。绞缠的手帕如我紊乱的心跳。
似乎裸露在光天化日下，粉碎了我矜持虚伪的面具。
输赢不再是我主宰，亦不是我的快乐伤悲。
舞台的灯光包围着他，他却一概不知，看不见黑暗里的我。
你是否见证了我被粉碎的那一刻。你是否感觉到了我的悲伤我的无奈。
我已无意推测。
你，我，他。三人独角戏。
』
他看着她，真有趣。
糟糕的演技却又那么投入，可知道失败的代价？
化为泡沫的人鱼公主多么愚蠢。
你却依旧喜欢在刀尖上行走。
搏一搏也好，他笑了，
如果你坠下船头，我来做你的海洋。
你向我点点头，我对你招招手。一场戏就这么开始了。
滑下肩头的长发。浅笑浮上嘴角。
低垂的眼帘不是你想象的娇羞。
我与你，演着对角戏。
他从我身边走过，让我错乱了手脚。绞缠的手帕如我紊乱的心跳。
似乎裸露在光天化日下，粉碎了我矜持虚伪的面具。
输赢不再是我主宰，亦不是我的快乐伤悲。
舞台的灯光包围着他，他却一概不知，看不见黑暗里的我。
你是否见证了我被粉碎的那一刻。你是否感觉到了我的悲伤我的无奈。
我已无意推测。
你，我，他。三人独角戏。
』
他看着她，真有趣。
糟糕的演技却又那么投入，可知道失败的代价？
化为泡沫的人鱼公主多么愚蠢。
你却依旧喜欢在刀尖上行走。
搏一搏也好，他笑了，
如果你坠下船头，我来做你的海洋。
2007年11月17日星期六
2007年11月16日星期五
__
暧昧。对这种粘腻的，不清不楚的感觉有些厌烦。因人而异。
每个人都想被关注。被关注到了一种程度，又没达到显而易见的，或者坦然无疑的地步，就有了暧昧。
无奈牵绊着失望。做什么都无济于事也就不想再做什么了。虚荣心是个可怕的东西。孤独下需要的肯定和陪伴也是那么可恶，把不屑的想要回避的通通掩饰成了容易接纳的种种。头脑不清楚了，反复问着问题：你在干什么。你开心么。
熟悉的不一定是想要的。表面上可以佯装欢笑，内心的不满再怎么也躲不过，异常平静。满眼闪烁的美丽镜像尖锐地反射着灵魂的空虚。
空着的到底是缺了什么。我不知道在哪里找。
Incomplete. I want my other piece back. The lost puzzle piece.
每个人都想被关注。被关注到了一种程度，又没达到显而易见的，或者坦然无疑的地步，就有了暧昧。
无奈牵绊着失望。做什么都无济于事也就不想再做什么了。虚荣心是个可怕的东西。孤独下需要的肯定和陪伴也是那么可恶，把不屑的想要回避的通通掩饰成了容易接纳的种种。头脑不清楚了，反复问着问题：你在干什么。你开心么。
熟悉的不一定是想要的。表面上可以佯装欢笑，内心的不满再怎么也躲不过，异常平静。满眼闪烁的美丽镜像尖锐地反射着灵魂的空虚。
空着的到底是缺了什么。我不知道在哪里找。
Incomplete. I want my other piece back. The lost puzzle piece.
2007年11月15日星期四
开心
Nov. 15, 2007 阴，有点风，凉凉的。和他走在一起我不在意。也许身体发着抖，但风从来没有刮到心里。满足的感觉。Everything seems to fall in to place. It's right, just right. And I don't want any more or less. 每个时刻，完整。
不是我想象的轰轰烈烈。喜欢的那么理所当然。也许是他的亮亮的大眼睛，淡淡的幽默，或是恰到好处的微笑。啊 也许是他一笔一划公正的抄写。。。也许是他的执着。。。我不知道我要的是什么，不过他的存在很舒服，让我安心，让我看到他就不自主的想笑。Such combination of tenderness and joy, i never seem to experienced it before.
不是我想象的轰轰烈烈。喜欢的那么理所当然。也许是他的亮亮的大眼睛，淡淡的幽默，或是恰到好处的微笑。啊 也许是他一笔一划公正的抄写。。。也许是他的执着。。。我不知道我要的是什么，不过他的存在很舒服，让我安心，让我看到他就不自主的想笑。Such combination of tenderness and joy, i never seem to experienced it before.
2007年11月1日星期四
2007年10月15日星期一
2007年6月18日星期一
Please go and vote for the new world Seven Wonders
China, as we all expected, has Great Wall on the list. I think so far it is not on the top 7, YET. So let's make this happen! Please tell your friends as well~ http://www.new7wonders.com/
2007年5月28日星期一
哈哈哈哈 ！ 笑死我了
今天看到超强的地铁帖 ！！！强烈推荐。各个特色强烈啊，还有独特的地铁人物呢，类“烧伤二人组”讨钱的 和 非常彪悍的迷宫似的出口入口。。。
还有啊，这张照片好好的让我想起中国的人是多么的多啊，那密密麻麻的人头看不到尽头耶～
看着这些故事突然想起我在上海地铁站的惊险一事。。。应该是小学的时候吧，在站台上兴致冲冲走在前面，一边招呼大人一边走进了地铁。。然后。。关门。。开走。。。超无语和戏剧化的看着大人们在站台上边喊边跟着跑，我欲哭无泪啊。又想笑有很傻眼。。。下一站下来就听到广播啦，然后被非常友好的工作人员带到办公室，呵呵，不知道为什么记得很清楚他们还给我吃糖类～
汗，真是馋啊，貌似更小的时候跟着一人的糖走差点认他人为父母啊。。。寒 = =||||
还有啊，这张照片好好的让我想起中国的人是多么的多啊，那密密麻麻的人头看不到尽头耶～
看着这些故事突然想起我在上海地铁站的惊险一事。。。应该是小学的时候吧，在站台上兴致冲冲走在前面，一边招呼大人一边走进了地铁。。然后。。关门。。开走。。。超无语和戏剧化的看着大人们在站台上边喊边跟着跑，我欲哭无泪啊。又想笑有很傻眼。。。下一站下来就听到广播啦，然后被非常友好的工作人员带到办公室，呵呵，不知道为什么记得很清楚他们还给我吃糖类～
汗，真是馋啊，貌似更小的时候跟着一人的糖走差点认他人为父母啊。。。寒 = =||||
2007年5月17日星期四
oh parents
Before the school ended, Grace asked me if I wanted to get an apartment with her next semester. She specifically complained about the issues with her parents, how they liked to get involved, nagging all the time. At the time, living in the dorms, I didn't realize how bad it is of course, since daddy and mommy were really quite tolerate regarding my somewhat lazy and spoiled behavior when I was home about 1 day a week. Oh dear, how much this have changed... Long sentence short, about the third week into summer vacation, I'm quite aware how we get onto each other's nerves at times... anyways, I thought I might go living with cherryC. and CoCoB. although I don't know if p+m would let me even if I could afford the rent myself. But it's a must, isn't it, when the bird grow its own feathers and strong enough, at least able to try, to fly.
cheeryC takes her flight today, haha, literally. She's on a plane right this moment perhaps and will arrive shanghai soon. Wonder how long will I be able to go back...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
End of this depressing tone, here I recommand an interesting website, a good way to spend your free time and see something fascinating: Hao Hao Report
cheeryC takes her flight today, haha, literally. She's on a plane right this moment perhaps and will arrive shanghai soon. Wonder how long will I be able to go back...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
End of this depressing tone, here I recommand an interesting website, a good way to spend your free time and see something fascinating: Hao Hao Report
2007年5月14日星期一
Shiina Ringo - Ichijiku No Hana (PV)
符合歌姬的称号。歌喉富有特别的歌唱感。特别是中低和高高的时候。
There's something haunting in her voice. Mesmerizing.
I listened to this song over and over. Strangely soothing, almost like a lullaby.
椎名林檎 (Shiina Ringo) - 闇に降る雨 (Yami ni furu ame)
I've heard of Shiina Ringo for a long time, although I've never taken interest in her songs. This evening I stumbled upon her song on youtube and fell in love :)
I like this song particularly with its 绵软醇滑的大提琴的声音. Love the eccentric mixture of classic, rock, and a little electric vibe.
2007年5月2日星期三
Essay 4 - War Bride
好，这次决定传上我在freshman必要的作文课上写的最后一个一篇文章。命题是来诠释一幅在Carnegie Museum of Art 的画。我选的是下面这幅，War Bride， 然后写了一篇文章，如下。不过，我希望大家在看文章之前，先好好看看这幅画和她的名字，想想你自己的意见，这样会比较客观得来看我的文章吧。。。
好好观察分析啊～～
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好!上文章。。。。（没带标题，因为是自己瞎取的，没多大意思 : p)
好好观察分析啊～～。
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好!上文章。。。。（没带标题，因为是自己瞎取的，没多大意思 : p)
Looking back at human history, war seems to be a universal subject across space and time. The story of violence aimed for conquering never change in history although the war has brought more and more severe consequences upon the world over time. As technology advances, even war has been made mechanized and stripped away the human characteristics. From the stones and tree branches in the close bodily fight between the cavemen and sword fighting on horses around the Middle Ages, to the contemporary warfare, where canons and bombs can be dropped on the enemies without being in contact with victims or seeing their faces, the main purpose of the war shifts from resolving personal conflicts to ambitious conquest that could sink a whole nation. A fight or a war that is used to show courage and strength of the hot-blooded youth, has became a cold and calculated enterprise that, instead, toys with the passion of young soldiers. Clarence Holbrook Carter, an artist lived through the World War II, painted “War Bride” in 1940, about the start of the WWII, to stimulate the audiences to rethink what modern war represents and what intimate influence it has on the society. The painting was inspired by his dream one night, of a steel mill working in full blast, and the marriage trend he saw at the time, when his young female art students were getting married before the boys drafted in the war. In the painting, the super natural combination of the giant black machines of steel mill and the frail virgin bride invokes both fear and anticipation: fearing the possibility that the machine would crush the bride while wondering if the union of human flesh with machine is feasible. Utilizing various symbolisms of the semi-abstract object in the painting, Carter’s disturbing image persuades the audience to see the truth of war, the sinister and overwhelming power that slowly strips away the humanity by feeding on the whole society for its continuation.
“War Bride” with the WWII context, which was when the painting was painted, suggests the machine’s representation as the firearms of war. The red back drop behind the machinery could be seen as blood. Although the destruction of war has always been associated with the death of the victims, Carter, by positioning the machine of war at the end of the aisle that is usually reserved for the groom, stimulate the viewers to see that war’s first victim is its contributor, such as the soldiers, rather than its legitimate enemies. The presence of the machine at the end can be seen as the substitution of the groom, or can be merely taken as to show the groom’s absence.
If the machine is interpreted as to substitute the groom, the machine could be expanded to symbolize the militaristic human weapons of war. The groom of the war bride, the soldier, is trained by the war to disregard any sympathy and humanity felt for the enemies in order to follow the commands and execute missions. As the machines are programmed, not spontaneous or emotional, the soldiers going through war also develop a machine-like obedience with numbed feelings to cope with the war. The soldiers assimilate and transform toward the image of the machine. Their emotions, innocents, and maybe optimisms and even sanities are bled out of them from the scars of war, as the machine in the picture, solemn and black, glows the cold and indifferent white hue while the passionate red dissipates behind it.
If the interpretation of the mechanized groom shows the destruction of war on the soldiers, then the belief that the groom is absent in the scene, represent the damage of war on the soldier’s family as the ceremony of holy union in marriage turns into a ritual of sacrifice. If the read background is seen as the blood of soldiers dead on the battle field, the bride is already a widow, which mirrors the real concerns of the WWII war brides who must bear the high possibilities that they will become a widow shortly after marriage. Along the isle, the presence of families and friends in the traditional weddings are substituted by rolls and rolls of steel. The black overtones and reflective surface of the machines overwhelms the picture, building a solemn and saddening atmosphere, as if to hint the hard truth of war that its damage spread across the society, that the rolls might be coffins, hosting the bodies of sacrificed husband and devoted families members and friends who fall under the control of the demanding war, or containing the hopes and happiness of marriage now repressed by war and dead. In a way, the war destroyed the social connections and unity as well as the individuals. The supposedly holy union of two individual as well as the symbolized union of their families and social circles are cut short as the procession turns into a burial ceremony for many, by war.
Carter wants to show the monstrous characteristics of war, as the machines, in drastic contrast with the innocence and fragility of the lone virgin bride to warn the viewers of the dangerous nature of war, especially to warn the innocents who are not aware of their distributions to the war. In order to empathize the contrast, Carter used layers of black and red to color the machines and background while painted the bride in white gown; the violent and heavy tone of red and black dominates over the light and peaceful white. Carter molded the machines with thick stacking of oil paints and straight ordered lines while used a totally different technique with light layer and small brush to give the bride a smooth texture of soft and flowing femininity. Although the bride seems to have a glow about her in her white gown and veil, the fate, for her and for other war brides, are not bright, and is illustrated by the machines’ dominance over the bride in the painting, both in mass and color. For the war brides, whether their military husbands return physically safe or not, they will need to compensate the part of duty and support of the family that is missing from their husbands, who would be inevitability scarred spiritually by the brutality of war. Nevertheless, girls go into marriages as war brides despite the sacrifices they know they will make sooner or later. What they ignored is that their willingness to sacrifice is indirectly guilty of aiding the war. Get married and form a family is one critical event in one’s life, and the act of marriage satisfies the young soldier’s passion by having a life-long lover and also fulfills his longing to own a family. Marriage would seem to appease any regrets or discontents a youth might have that would set him back on his decision to go to war; the selfless act of girls would further encourage and motivate the soldiers to engage in the war without reserve. Marriage also leads to a reasonable possibility to bear offspring, in particular, to give birth to male babies. Thus, the war brides accelerate and strengthen the power of war by sending their husbands on the frontline while reproducing more fresh blood to further the continuation of war. In a way, it forms a union between humanity and war: the humanity supplies the fresh rage and blood, repeating the process of destruction again and again in history; reminiscent of the continuous and infinite rolls of steel in the painting, rolling along the conveyor belt to the humongous machine at the end of the isle for sacrifice. Carter, by drawing a still draped veil on the bride’s head, was attempting to warn the brides of the danger in their impulsive and innocent decisions. Veil, symbolically, can function to cover up the reality. Usually in the wedding, the groom would lift off the veil and the bride would see a clear view of her future husband and accept the reality and responsibilities associated with the marriage. The bride in the painting, however, still has the veil draping down over her head, implies that her vision has not been opened to reality and that her decision to marry is dominated mainly by idealisms, of the honor with sacrifice, for example. Carter decorates the veil with a head piece made of small white flowers, further accentuates the bride’s innocence in making the naive decision, and again points out how this innocence could be easily crushed by the reality of the war by comparing the frail flower with the massive machines.
While the symbolisms embedded in any kind of machines with any view of the bride would have successfully delivered Carter’s warning message, Carter purposefully chose the minimum but representative element and angle for his work, such as the plain steel rolls and the turning bride, which in fact maximizes the effectiveness of his messages. The steel rolls and the machine parts in the painting are big, plain and with no details, which exhibit no particular functions that could connect the machines with a specific usage while showing all the qualities of machine: the cold hard substance of metal, ordered reproductively of the machines, superior strength and persistence, and etc. The simplicity of the machines helps the viewer to draw connections to broader themes and ideas than just steel mills, such as to war. Besides the machines, Carter only draw one human being in the whole painting, the bride, who faces the aisle with back turned to the viewer, shows no face. The bride, with no unique characteristics that would identify her as a particular individual, can be viewed as the representation of millions of other war brides. By drawing the bride facing forward, Carter also constructed a unique perspective by which the audience looking at the painting would feel as if he is standing right behind the bride and is following her down the receding path. Carter, thus, encourages the viewer to stand in the same position as the bride, not only sharing the bride’s view of the machine ahead, also draws the viewer deep into the subject of the painting to envision the future and hardship awaiting the war brides as if in their shoes. In addition, since the location right behind the bride is usually reserved for the bride’s father or her very close friend to walk her down the aisle, the viewer standing at this intimate position is able to further extend the perspective to visualize the influences the war would have on the war bride’s family, friends, and society in general.
If Clarence Carter painted “War Bride” (1940) with an intention to show the reality of the war and war-time marriage to his art students, he succeeded, and his “War Bride”, in its simple form with no indications of particular time period, would continue to educate and influence its audience, not only about war, maybe even about the industrialized modern world as well.
babe is enjoying her stressfree life~~~~~~~~wee~~~
厚厚厚～～～没压力的生活真享受啊～～～～～如果刺激到某些还没放假正要考试的人，请自动过滤上句话 XD ~~~
上个流水帐，因为没压力的脑袋不想费力整理思绪 ^v^
上个流水帐，因为没压力的脑袋不想费力整理思绪 ^v^
- shuBabe (>v<, 我) is happy with her grade~ straight A~ woohooo~ 虽然整个GPA不理想，现在起码让我增加了信心！这个暑假也要拿全A,
(要说的超high,参考逸群的发音 XD) - 今天和zomberry去southside 逛街， 到goodwill帮她捐了东西，还等了半小时车。等车的时候狂无聊，那位小姐又不肯到附近的店去看看，只好在方圆五尺地走方步，脚好疼啊，肚子还饿，干瞪着对面bar的酒啊，被食品味道诱惑着。。。。。。 【哦，还拿了两双鞋帮她在中国的时候穿松，一个kenzie一个prada的。。。晕吧，然后想起scrubs 里面，那个护士让她丈夫穿她新的高跟鞋，她穿的时候就不挤脚了，呵呵。穿高跟鞋其实挺好玩的也很累的，起水泡无数，已近不在意啦～】
- 在星期天和'牧神'到waterfront去玩~找到一39分贺卡店，嗲～推荐！价钱比hallmark啊什么的便宜多了而且卡的质量也不错！给momy的节日买了两张卡，一张是自己送的，一张是全家人的。
- 想夏天到了也放假了，正是学车的好时候。原来老爸总是埋怨我学车没积极性，现在没话讲了吧～没想到。。。老爸马上回绝。。。说新车前3000 mile 是磨合期，不能开太快太慢，怕我开的乱七八糟。。。=_ = 什么类，不相信我。不过我也怕开新车，决定磨叽两下老爸，还不行就等个1月啦
- 今天座电车碰到高中和大学的同学Jake，聊了一下，路上过的快多了～他 （！）满头的金色长发（！）真野性啊。。。佩服
- 做电车到原来mt.lebanon,看到熟悉的街景，都是高中时的回忆啊～有一点点失落，特殊的朋友们，包括我已经不住在那里了。 现在新家附近的小学playground像是原来的迷你version，秋千也是，昨天看到后觉得超不尽兴～ 真碰巧，今天就有机会跑到playground荡秋千，荡得好高，宝刀未老 :)
- 啊，差点忘了，收到“午后的牧神”从中国发过来的短信问候～估计已经回过神了吧，jet lag严不严重啊？
2007年4月29日星期日
大一终结篇
昨天星期五。大学的第一年终于结束了。下午5点，紧赶慢赶地交了作业，然后去花完了饭卡里所剩的17余块钱。拎着塑料袋走在路上，吹着微风，暖暖的。女孩都换上了夏装短裙，青春飞扬，自己有点羡慕 : p 很热闹，到处看得到西装革履的青涩男生，身后跟着一家子父母弟妹，在校园里拍照留恋。毕业了吧。不知为什么突然想起日本，毕业和开学似乎都在樱花漫天的季节，浪漫透了。
赶回宿舍理东西准备搬家。忙了3个小时才把所有东西装进大大小小的袋子里。车里除了人都塞满了，比起搬进来的时候实在是多了很多呢。最明显的是衣服。原来洋洋得意的一拉杆箱就可以搞定的衣服现在起码又加上了五六个袋子来装。呵呵，想想在这一年里，我已经陆陆续续把所有能穿的衣服都搬到宿舍了。还真成了第二个家。
转身关门的时候看着空荡荡的宿舍，没觉得什么。在回家的路上，当车开上高速公路对着黄昏的城市，我突然清醒，除了家，我已经没有其它属于我的地方可去了。
我想，如果在宿舍，我会在床上捧着电脑伴随着电视声，望着窗外的街道和远方的云天慢慢入夜吧。我，喜欢晚上的直升机轰轰地在头顶上飞过，一闪一闪的；喜欢听警叫声呼啸着划破夜空，嘀咕着，哪里又出事了；喜欢在起床的时候，站在窗边就可以看到底下的街道，看大家穿什么来判断今天的天气：热不热啊，风大不大；喜欢开窗的时候透进来的鼓风扇的杂音，和下雨下雪时远处的白烟。。。有些时候只想靠在窗台脱着下巴，看着缓缓蠕动的城市，感受它的声音-大家生存活动的痕迹。不觉得孤单。 我喜欢热闹，喜欢城市，喜欢灯火迷蒙，人声四处。在人群里享受自由。这一切都将告一段落。宁夏。
赶回宿舍理东西准备搬家。忙了3个小时才把所有东西装进大大小小的袋子里。车里除了人都塞满了，比起搬进来的时候实在是多了很多呢。最明显的是衣服。原来洋洋得意的一拉杆箱就可以搞定的衣服现在起码又加上了五六个袋子来装。呵呵，想想在这一年里，我已经陆陆续续把所有能穿的衣服都搬到宿舍了。还真成了第二个家。
转身关门的时候看着空荡荡的宿舍，没觉得什么。在回家的路上，当车开上高速公路对着黄昏的城市，我突然清醒，除了家，我已经没有其它属于我的地方可去了。
我想，如果在宿舍，我会在床上捧着电脑伴随着电视声，望着窗外的街道和远方的云天慢慢入夜吧。我，喜欢晚上的直升机轰轰地在头顶上飞过，一闪一闪的；喜欢听警叫声呼啸着划破夜空，嘀咕着，哪里又出事了；喜欢在起床的时候，站在窗边就可以看到底下的街道，看大家穿什么来判断今天的天气：热不热啊，风大不大；喜欢开窗的时候透进来的鼓风扇的杂音，和下雨下雪时远处的白烟。。。有些时候只想靠在窗台脱着下巴，看着缓缓蠕动的城市，感受它的声音-大家生存活动的痕迹。不觉得孤单。 我喜欢热闹，喜欢城市，喜欢灯火迷蒙，人声四处。在人群里享受自由。这一切都将告一段落。宁夏。
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